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Many of the names for mud, and the Creation of the Order of the Turbid Waters‏

By Baroness Elsa Von Aurich, as originally published in The Scrybe December, 2013.

In Anno Societatis XLV, There was a March Crown Tournament held that was unlike any other.

March Crown is the time for all fine and Loyal Allyshians to venture to the south and present our Sovereign King with Taxes from our bounteous lands and skilled craftspeople.  It is also the time for our populace to swear in our new Baron and Baroness with a resounding cry of “Ya Sure Ya Betcha!” in open court, and for the West Kingdom to witness that Allyshians are a Fine, Loyal, Generous and Humourous people.

The day dawned cold, wet and windy, and it almost felt like home, except for the mud.  We’ll get to the mud later.  First, and foremost, it was a grand day of fighting, for the not yet Sir Conall, I believe the only Allyshian to (in fine Celtic style) brave the rains and take the field that day.

As the afternoon slogged on, it became more apparent that we were in for a none too inconsequential storm.  The wind howled, the rain blew sideways, and all the stalwart Allyshians who were *still* there called upon local Inns for lodging, choosing safety instead of foolhardiness in the muck and the mire, and rising sploo, slurm, squelch, squish, slush, goop and glorp.

As their adequacies Reinold and Elsa were waiting in evening court for Baron Robert and Baroness Nicole to present them to the king and queen, Reinold chanced to overhear a conversation between Sirs Helgi and Dmitriy.

Sir Dmitriy: (shivering)  Brr.  It’s cold here.

Sir Helgi: DUDE!  You’re from Russia!  It’s cold HERE?

Sir Dmitriy: Yes. Cold. Here.

And as the muddy, squishy, squelchy populace presented taxes (but not Baron Robert and Baroness Nicole’s daughter Logan, who King Jade declared a “joyous and wonderful obligation”) many more minds were made up- “after this, we’re leaving.”

Baron Reinold and Baroness Elsa did indeed step up, the court laughed when we said our stern and foreboding “Ya sure, Ya BETCHA!”  At the end of court, King Jade proclaimed the site closed with a mighty “Please help your neighbor take his tent down.  You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.”

It was sometime later, we all realized that there had been a tornado warning, and that more than half of us lost tents and clothing but not our morale, to the murky, gloopy, glorpy, quagmire.

On the journey home, Lady (now Baroness) Megan remarked upon how turbid the rivers looked, and how it had indeed been quite a risky undertaking to get there and back again!

Baroness Elsa and Baron Reinold soon after created the Order of the Turbid Waters- the symbol of which is a wax sealed glass vial filled with water, slurm scraped from the hem of Baroness Elsa’s dress, and gold flakes for the friendship, support and hearts of all of the brave Allyshians who endured the gale force winds, driving rain, Russian-forsaken cold, and sticky, oozing, coagulant MUD of March Crown, XLV.

Long Live the Barony of Allyshia, and it’s loyal, brave populace!

Baroness Elsa Von Aurich

P.S.:  The moral of the tale is:  When it’s too wet for the Allyshians, and too cold for the Russians, it’s time to GO HOME.